Funeral Directors Have Feelings Too

SAIF thanks Inez Capps of Kinton & Daughter Funeral Services Ltd for this month’s blog:

My day started at 4am, the phone rings, I wake automatically, look at my phone “unknown number” I go into work mode, lamp goes on, my pen and pad already ready to go: I answer…15 minutes later I am getting ready to go on a call out, a quick call to my colleague, we are on route in our removal vehicle to the home address. Two hours later I’m home with a coffee and eating my breakfast.

I sit and contemplate…how fragile life is?

Here I am drinking my first coffee of the day, about to go into work and the family I have just left are having the worst day of theirs. I came into their lives only an hour ago and yet they trust me to care for not only their loved one but for them too. I’ve been trusted to care for someone so loved and valued, people look to the funeral director to help them when they feel so low and vulnerable. I reassure them, I talk to them about the next steps. I become their guidance. I am now a part of their journey.

Over the weeks ahead I get to know the person who is in my care, all their achievements, their children, their passions and zest for life. The family start to become friends, I connect with them, they pop in for a chat or to just check everything is ok and dad is alright.

The funeral has been planned and my team arrives to help on the day, each of them knowing what I require of them, I have my support in them and as I stand before the family in top hat and tails, the roller coaster of grief is coming to its peak. I take it in, tears well in my eyes, I think: this is a sad day. And to think only weeks ago I never knew you or your family and now they look to me as their guide; to do my job.

The funeral has finished, I stand at the wake taking in the atmosphere, people talking so fondly of the man they knew, laughter feels the air, a cheers to the gentleman that loved a pint, tears still flow but now with a smile remembering a man they loved. It’s time for me to go now, I stand before them again, after weeks we shared so much together, I thank them for choosing me and letting me into their lives. I’m sitting with my coffee, end of a working day.

I sit and contemplate…a life well lived is a precious gift, so much love, hope and grace. Someone has left this earth today but their life leaves a bright and shining place. So here’s a toast to you Sir, the man I just met, I’m thankful for the time we shared, a true gent I laid to rest.

When a family walks through your office door, and ask for your help, when weeks pass by and people come in and out of your care, you organise flowers and order of service, you speak to vicars and crematoriums; it isn’t just a job. Funeral Directors Care and no matter how much time we spend with you or how simple the funeral may be, you touch our hearts in so many different ways.

So next time you see a funeral director, ask them how they are; they carry the weight of so many worlds. We become knowledgeable from people’s memories and lives, we understand how fragile life can be and we have feelings just like you.